DIVIDED INTEREST

Personally I have watched so many parents making this mistake of having unequal agendas; the best way a kid or kids could be brought up properly is for parents to be united in whatever they do that relate to their children, most especially in their (the children) presence. Where a father is correcting a child for wrongdoing and the mother is rebuking him for it vise versa, the child would tend to think that the parent that does the correcting hates him or her but where a mother or a father is trying to set the child on the right path and the other parent is supportive in action, deeds and verbal contribution the child would soon reason and grow up to be a better child to the happiness of the parents.

Sometimes parents even start serious fight between each other just because one tries to correct and the other probably feels the one that tries to correct is not doing it the right way or is doing it excessively and then serious quarrel commences in front of the children they are trying to guide. This type of attitude towards parenting is wrong, even if the parent that took the step to correct is not doing it properly he or she could be excused and taking behind the scene to trash out the issue. That way the children would not be miseducated .

Should a child grow up and realize that the parent that has always endorse wrong things he does was wrong such child would hate such a parent because so many things would have been to late to correct by then.

Please be wise in dealing with your children!  


Personally I have watched so many parents making this mistake of having unequal agendas; the best way a kid or kids could be brought up properly is for parents to be united in whatever they do that relate to their children, most especially in their (the children) presence. Where a father is correcting a child for wrongdoing and the mother is rebuking him for it vise versa, the child would tend to think that the parent that does the correcting hates him or her but where a mother or a father is trying to set the child on the right path and the other parent is supportive in action, deeds and verbal contribution the child would soon reason and grow up to be a better child to the happiness of the parents.

Sometimes parents even start serious fight between each other just because one tries to correct and the other probably feels the one that tries to correct is not doing it the right way or is doing it excessively and then serious quarrel commences in front of the children they are trying to guide. This type of attitude towards parenting is wrong, even if the parent that took the step to correct is not doing it properly he or she could be excused and taking behind the scene to trash out the issue. That way the children would not be miseducated .

Should a child grow up and realize that the parent that has always endorse wrong things he does was wrong such child would hate such a parent because so many things would have been to late to correct by then.

Please be wise in dealing with your children!  


 

PARENTING WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING

Not understanding your child is bad. I remember while growing up a younger friend of mine would always come to me and complain about his mother ‘I hate her, oh! How much I hate my mum she is always beating me and shouting at me without listening to me’ he would say with frustration ‘I wish I could do something terrible to her…’ I didn’t quite understand my kid friend frustration until I became an adult.

Don’t just beat up your child at every slight provocation except you want your child to hate you like my kid friend. He actually grew up not having much respect and love for her. Kids learn when you correct them with love and show understanding where they plead at times. My mother would hardly beat any of her kids for a first time misdeed rather she would give serious warning, depending on the misdeed, for the first serious occurrence despite the fact that she is a strict disciplinarian. After the third warning and her warning was not heeded she would not spare the cane. Then, it wasn’t as if it was a pleasure getting caned even after several warnings but as kids we know it came as a result of our continuous disobedience. I equally remember that I feared the sight of cane a lot because I wasn’t toughened as to sight cane and shrugs since it wasn’t a case of beating alone but combination of teaching, light punishments, warnings and cane where it became very necessary.  

Parents who don’t discipline erring children at all are as worst in my opinion as parents who beat up their children every time.

I had another friend while I was a kid who came to me and said ‘I don’t want to be stubborn anymore’ 

‘Why?’ I asked showing interest;

‘Yesterday night’ he started with a smile on his face ‘my mom woke me up calmly in the middle of the night, I was scared I thought she was going to beat me but she started by saying “do you know how much I love you and I want the best in life for you?” and I could only nod my head without looking at her face “have you change your mind about becoming a pilot when you grow up?” I shook my head looking at her with horror “then why don’t you listen when I talk to you, do you think children who don’t listen to their parents end up achieving anything in life? Have you forgotten that story your father told you about that poor man who did not listen to his parents while he was a kid who ended up driving his rich mate who listened to his parents to work every workday?” no mum don’t remind me of that story I don’t want to be like him. “Okay if you don’t want to be like him promise me you will always listen to me” and I promised her’

You only need to understand what kids do not want to loose to make them comply it could be their toys it could be certain fantasy while they are still quite young. It could even be they don’t want you to report them to someone that is very fond of them. Always watch out for this areas of interest it is less stressful and in the end profitable to you and your kids.